Why I don't take my kids to see Santa Claus

Every year thousands of parents drag their kids off to the mall or Outdoor World or the local winter festival to see Santa. This is a big deal for parents and kids-parents get the obligatory picture of their kid sitting on Santa's lap and the kids get to give Santa a list of everything they want for Christmas.

The first year I had Wesley he was about 10 months old when Christmas time rolled around. The "Santa" we took him to see was actually DH dressed up for the FRG Christmas party. We only have two copies of pictures of Wesley and I sitting on Santa's lap. A few months later we took him to see the Easter Bunny at the mall and I had to coax and bribe him and finally sit the with the bunny myself to get a shot of him. Then the following Christmas season rolled around.

I took him to an FRG holiday event and they had a great Santa and Mrs. Claus there. I took him over, and I could tell he was unsure. I knew there was no way I was going to get him up there long enough for a photo op, he did ease his way up there to get close enough to grab the lolly pops they were handing out and then he ran away with it. So much for year #2.

I did not even attempt to see Santa with him the third Christmas because he flat out told me he was not going to see Santa.

Year four however (another deployment year) he was SUPER excited to see Santa. This was it! The year I was finally going to get a "real" photo with him and Santa. I took him to (yes, yet again!) the FRG holiday party. We had pizza and Little Debbie Christmas Tree snack cakes. We watched the tree lighting then got in line and waited-I am not kidding you-almost an hour to get into the Hunter Club to see Santa. I am pregnant and tired and don't want to be on my feet anymore. But Wesley is SO excited. He just kept telling me what he was going to tell Santa he wanted, what he was going to do when he got up there, practically pushing ahead of every kid in line ahead of us. Finally, there is only one little girl ahead of us. He tried to push past her to sit on Santa's lap. I have to hold him back. The little girl goes and then FINALLY! it is our turn. I give him a nudge to go up and-he freezes. Won't move an inch. Everyone tried to get him to go up. They offer him candy canes, to hold the jingle bells, they even try to get me to sit on Santa's lap to get him up there. I ask him "Don't you want to tell Santa what you want? How will he know what to bring you?" But no, nothing is going to get my son to budge. Nothing. Not even the candy cane I can see he really wants. Finally, I give in. What is the point, I don't want to terrorize my kid and there is no point is wasting everyone's time any further. so I say ok, let's go. At which point Wesley runs out, grabbing the candy cane on his way. As soon as we get out the door he turns to me, eyes filled with fear and asks "But how will Santa know what to bring me for Christmas?" OMGosh. I reassure him that we can write to Santa and he will know what to bring. And I swear that NEVER EVER EVER take my kids to see Santa again.

That is why I won't be taking my kids to see Santa this year, or any other year for that matter. I know I will get the people asking if I have taken the boys to see Santa this year and I know I will get the "You are an abusive mother" look when I tell them that no, we will not be going. It's ok though. My excuse this year will be that Wesley needs to practice his writing skills so that is why he will be writing a letter instead of going to see the man himself. Besides, I feel like seeing Santa working at 5 billion places during the holiday season kinda ruins the illusion of Santa anyway. (hey, whatever justifies it for me right?). So don't expect any photos my kids sitting on the man in the red suit's lap.

The big 3-0!

I had about a million things to blog about in the past week but every time I would get on the computer my mom would yell at me for being on the computer "all the time" even though it sat in my room, untouched, for most of the week except when I was giving away all her stuff for free on craigslist. So, really, most of my computer time was spent doing stuff for her but whatever.

It was a very exciting vacation. You have already heard about the wedding and the found wedding photos. Then came the most exciting event of all: My 30th birthday weekend extravaganza! I know, I can't believe I am 30 now. Thirty. 3-0. Three decades. I remember thinking as a kid that 30 was sooooooooo far off, that I would never reach it. And now, here I am. I am excited though. I think the next decade is going to be a good one. Even if, by the end of it I will have a teenager who is getting a learners permit and an 11 year old (no, that can't be possible). Ok, enough scareing myself with visions of the future. Lets get to the really important stuff-my birthday loot.

My dear, dear, husband got me an iphone for my birthday a couple weeks ago. I call it my "ihusband" because it does everything for me except take out the trash. I love it. We will be celebrating our one month anniversary next week. Ah, new love. My mom sent me out for a manicure and pedicure while she watched the boys (and she took me out to lunch). I decided to rebel against turning thirty and got my nails painted a lovely lavender color. However, it backfired on me because instead of my mom complaining about the color I pick (Why do you pick those crazy colors? Why all the dark shades? Why can't you pick out a nice pink?) she said it looked nice. Now, I know my mom and she wouldn't just say that because it was my birthday. I am actually picking colors my mother approves of now. Oy. I am getting old!

My brother Kyle and his wife-to-be Ashley got me a very nice card, $30 in itunes gift cards and a Peppermint Patty. Yum. I had to hide it from Wesley so the little weasel wouldn't steal it. They then went with me to see Wesley sing the songs he learned at Vacation Bible School. That was a gift in itself, it was awesome to see him up there singing and dancing and then, of course, Henry would NOT be left out so he toddled his way up there and started dancing and trying to do the hand motions too. So. Frickin'. Cute. Wesley also made me lots of post-it notes with "I love you" written on them. I will be keeping them forever. Then my brother Brad stopped by and gave me my gift from him and his girlfriend Lauren (hi Lauren!) -a cheese dish from Crate and Barrel. I love it and have already used it. It made the cheese taste MUCH better.





My dad pays for my XM every year, so that is my brithday present from him. Then I went to Sephora where everyone wished me a Happy Birthday and I got a FREE bottle of Philosophy shower gel in Vanilla Birthday Cake. Love it.


On Saturday I had a small get-together with my family:Christopher, Wesley and Henry, my mom and dad, Debbie (my mother-in-law), Brad and Lauren, Kyle and Ashley, and Seth and Kaelee (they are my brother and sister also). We had steamed crabs, if you are ever in Maryland you have to try them.

Now that is a bushel of crabs!

Ready to feast! Just look at all that Old Bay.

Christopher looking a big evil here.

Just get someone to teach you how to open them. Or, better yet, invite me to show you how to open them. ;) We grilled out and had Utz potato chips and sodas and "Boh-tinis".

Lauren and her "Bohtini". Take a Natty Boh, rim the top with Old Bay, pop open and enjoy!

Three Amigos. Brad, Kyle, Christopher.

'Cause babies taste better with a little Old Bay on them.

Ashley, me, and Lauren.

Me and my future sister in law!

Naked baby. If you are wondering where Wesley was, he spent about 95% of the time holed up in Seth's room playing XBox. He came out for cake though. 

After we had gorged ourselves on crabs and it started to drizzle we all headed inside (and out of the heat!) where we had family sing along time.

Just like the Von Trapp Family. Minus the Nazis. And the ability to sing together, in tune.

Henry's first guitar lesson.

Then is was time for CAKE! It look forever to light all the candles. Which we didn't have enough of and had to use a number 7 candle to have a total of 31 (30 + 1 to grow on).

Lighting the candles...

...and still lighting.....

Finally! Done!

Hilarious picture of Brad singing "Happy Birthday" to me. 

Other random pictures from my big day:

Dad and me.

Mom leaving with Henry.

Bros before....wait, that doesn't apply here.

Ashley looks like she is going to shiv Kyle. She is definetly ready to be his wife! :)

Brad looking a bit dazed. Too much Old Bay perhaps?

My mother-in-law brought me my gift: two jars of "Oh My Gourgeous" body cream and-wait for it-and "Peaches and Cream" Barbie doll.


I still have my original one-except she is missing all her accessories and he hands are all chewed up because of our stupid dog. But she was my favorite and the only one I kept. I was telling my mother-in-law about it and she remember and got it for me. I seriously wanted to take it out of the box and play with it but 1) my brothers would have totally made fun of me 2) I would have had to share with my little sister (she is seven, and it would look bad if, as the older sister I did not share or play nicely and set a good example) and 3) I am thirty and thirty year olds don't play with Barbies......right? Maybe. I am still thinking about taking her out of the box, dressing her up, brushing her hair. I am sure I could find a way for Peaches and Cream Barbie to play along with Darth Vader and the AT-AT. Riiiiiggghtttttt.......

Making the most of it

Since I am still having to beg Wesley for use of his computer (well, actually the lying incident yesterday pretty much assured that I would have the laptop to myself as he has lost computer privileges) I have decided to make the most of it. Last night while I was trying to get sleeping enough to go to bed and fall asleep I decided to check out what photos and documents were still on here. I have obviously saved them onto shutterfly and onto CDs before we stopped using this computer but it has been a long time since I had really looked at any of them outside of the ones I really loved. And let me tell you-there are some gems. GEMS. So, go get yourself some popcorn, a glass of wine, cup of tea, that twinkie you have stashed away so the kids/husband can't find it and settle in for a treat.

Before and After

This was back when I was pregnant with Wesley. My grandmother took the first picture so I could see what I needed to get back to after having Wesley. The second picture was taken, in the same swim suit, by my mother about two days before he was born. These are not the before/after shots you want unless you are trying to have a baby.



About 8 or 9 weeks along.




39 weeks (so 30 weeks later).



Of course the most awesome part of the second picture is Smokey trying to hypnotize you into giving him more food. Also, please don't make fun of my cankles. Thanks.

This next picture I love, when it popped up on the screen I laughed, out loud, for about 5 minutes. I am so putting it on Facebook to embarress my brothers even though nothing phases them.

I mean, look at Brad (he is in the middle). And Christopher and I look so young (probably because we were, this was about 6 years ago). And what was Kyle thinking getting a neon yellow cast? Oh, but the cast gets better:



Gangsta cast

I also found a bunch of pictures of Christopher's commissioning at Fort Benning, GA. In case you EVER visit Ft. Benning, let me give you some advice. They have their motto which is "Follow Me". So, if you drive up to the gate and the gaurd checks your ID and then says "Welcome to Ft. Benning, home of the Infantry. Follow Me!" he does NOT actually mean for you to follow him. Sitting there waiting for him to show you where to go will just cause you to get some weird looks and then get extremely embarressed when you see the huge "Follow Me" sign about a quarter of a mile down the road. Just sayin'. But here are some highlights of the day and me looking *Fabulous*.

Getting to pin Christopher for the first time.



The fantastic B&B where we stayed. I am so fabulous, I know!



I don't know why I like this picture so much but I do. Plus this is a great chance for me to tell you how my mom managed to ask Christopher's recruiting officer why he has a ladybug on his bars (it was an oakleaf) and why Christopher had flaming balls on his lapels (the ordnance symbol is a flaming ball. But still. Awkward.).

We ate at this great little historic restaurant. Well, they lost our reservation but managed to get us a table and look! Even our waiter was a ghost. You can't get that kind of service just anywhere.

Ok, there is more to come, but this might be a great time for a potty break or for you to refill your wine if you need to. I will wait.

Ready? Here are some early married life/pre children pictures. These are very rare.

Christopher and his "Little Babies". It is pictures like this that make it hard for me to take him seriously. I don't know how his soldiers do other than the fact they have never seen these pictures.



Me, cooking our first Thanksgiving dinner together. I look like a scary pregnant woman with a knife. Don't mess with me.




About 36 weeks at the top of they Tybee Island Lighthouse. I had no idea C was in the background which just makes this picture. Also, I yelled at a bunch of teenagers who were all winded from climbing the stairs that if I could do all 178 steps at 36 weeks they could do it. And to stop smoking.




Yup, at a bar, getting drinks (for the lushes I was with, my husband and my mom). But they and the bartender thought this was hilarous.









Our first Christmas Eve in Savannah. I don't remember most of the people in this picture but they were all people Christopher worked with. BUT this picture is awesome because it has party mouse in it. Just sayin'.



So, onto post children pictures.

Christopher and Wesley checking out our house in progress. This was the kitchen. I will have to find some "after" pictures or do a whole post on all our different homes. I know you are looking forward to it.



Hilarous family photo shoot.



Getting ready for a ball. One that we had bought tickets for and there we no seats for us at. So we had an even better time out at a tapas restuarant in Savannah.

The Travelocity Roaming Gnome. Great costume, I put it together in about an hour. Those are the best costumes. I know because I had to do it the next year with him too.



Portrait: Man and his dog.



Sorry, I don't know how to rotate this, if I can figure it out I will do it. This is, without a doubt, Kyle's birthday. How do I know? Every year for our birthday my mom would let us choose whatever we wanted for dinner. Brad would pick something like ice cream. I would pick something like london broil with baked potatoes and salad-something the whole family could enjoy. Kyle would choose lobster (which, because of the cost, only he got to eat). And then Brad and I would smack ourselves for not thinking of it ourselves. Repeat every year.

Wesley's first Easter. This was outside my mom's church with my brother Kyle, me, Wesley, Christopher and my stepdad Matt (or as he is now known as G-Matt, or just "G").

Ok, so whenever we talk about Wesley having a lemon for the first time my stepdad says it was at Mellow Mushroom and we (my mom and I) say it was at Yin Yankee. I am pretty sure Matt is thinking of this time (as seen here). I do have a YY photo somewhere, I can't say right now which happened sooner. Investigation to follow. I don't read Agatha Christie for nothing you know.

Me and Harry Potter! How cool! Oh, no wait. That is just my brother with hippie hair. Nevermind.

Easter, 2007. Wesley's second. And he is pulling off that seersucker sucker suit just like a proper southern gentleman should. And, for the record this had to be the COLDEST Easter in Savannah we had. It was freezing. Wish it had been this cold when I was pregant with Henry.

My brother Kyle with his mohawk. I keep tyring to take Wesley into getting one. As soon as Henry has enough hair (or any hair for that matter, outside of his mullet) he is getting one. Oh, and yes, that sign hanging on the wall says "Martha Stewart can kiss my butt".

Last pic for today: Me and one of my best friends Stephanie hanging out on my mom's deck. Obviously I was in the middle of going on about something VERY important. I have no idea what. But this right here is what I love about finding old pictures. Those little moments you capture that you can so easily forget about. This is just a moment of good friends hanging out, having a good time together (and sharing some good food!). These are the moments to treasure.